By Ben / 2009-12-13 15:12:13Double Dragon is at once nothing like a video game film, and the archetypal video game film. There’s absolutely no reason for it to take the game as inspiration, other than to try to find an audience, really this could be absolutely any kids film from the early 90’s.
The plot centres around the Double Dragon, a pendant formed by a dead king, split in two and kept separate, lest its full power fall into the wrong hands. The pendant is the property of the unknowing Lee brothers, however the nefarious Guisman (Robert Patrick of T2 and X-Files fame) seeks to get his hands on it so he can take over New Angeles. New Angeles because Los Angeles was destroyed by a massive earthquake (this was topical in the 90’s), leaving an ‘Escape from L.A.’ style gangland paradise.
The Lee’s are both well versed in martial arts, entering tournaments and the like. Which actually points to one of the more peculiar aspects of Double Dragon, it’s supposed to be a lawless wasteland, at least at night, yet there’s suburbs and karate tournaments, business men and a bustling press core. It dilutes the threat established in the early parts of the film, when the only reason the gangs control the streets at night is because the police didn’t bother stopping them.
While I’m complaining about the minor plot stuff, the Double Dragon pendant itself is rubbish. Separately it’s quite good, the half that Guisman steals allows him to turn into a shadow and take over people’s bodies. Not bad, and he also can’t be hurt in this form, which comes in handy a few times. In fact I’d go as far as to say that this half of the pendent alone is enough to take over L.A.. The other half, which ends up in the possession of the brothers, makes the wearer invulnerable, again pretty handy. If you put both parts together though, you turn into a ninja with a sword, who seemingly isn’t invulnerable, and could certainly be stopped from taking over the city by the police.
So it’s ludicrous and stupid, but then it’s a kid film from the 90’s so it was never going to be anything else. There are a few positives to take from the film though. As easy as it is to hate Billy Lee (the main Lee, and the whitest Lee, which I’m sure was purely incidental) generally the actors play their characters perfectly, with Jimmy and Marian (the police chiefs daughter) are both likable, where as Patrick’s Guisman is comic book evil.
There’s lots going on, with speed boat chases, burning warehouses, genetic experimentation, and lot’s of fighting. I don’t know Mark Damascus’ (who play’s Jimmy) martial arts heritage, but he seems convincing here, not that the others really embarrass themselves. Not that it’s high quality stuff, but considering some of the films it’s up against, it’s not too bad.
The only other positive comments I’ve got are that Alyssa Milano (Marian) is stunning in this, and that Billy and Guisman share one of the best lines in cinema history. “You’re weak like your father!” “You’re ugly like your mother!”
Elsewhere there’s some horrendous special effects, including, but not limited to some of the worst 3D graphics I’ve ever seen. The Lee’s and Guisman come into contact far too many times, in fact he track them down within about 10 minutes of the films starting. And one other thing, the ‘unique’ way the Lee’s give each other a high 5 is cringe worthy.
Double Dragon is a terrible film by just about any measure, but it’s an easier and less painful watch than the likes of Mario, Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne. Remember it’s a kids film and I dare say there’s even a chance you’ll get some enjoyment out of it. Not that that’s a recommendation, just to be clear.
The plot centres around the Double Dragon, a pendant formed by a dead king, split in two and kept separate, lest its full power fall into the wrong hands. The pendant is the property of the unknowing Lee brothers, however the nefarious Guisman (Robert Patrick of T2 and X-Files fame) seeks to get his hands on it so he can take over New Angeles. New Angeles because Los Angeles was destroyed by a massive earthquake (this was topical in the 90’s), leaving an ‘Escape from L.A.’ style gangland paradise.
The Lee’s are both well versed in martial arts, entering tournaments and the like. Which actually points to one of the more peculiar aspects of Double Dragon, it’s supposed to be a lawless wasteland, at least at night, yet there’s suburbs and karate tournaments, business men and a bustling press core. It dilutes the threat established in the early parts of the film, when the only reason the gangs control the streets at night is because the police didn’t bother stopping them.
While I’m complaining about the minor plot stuff, the Double Dragon pendant itself is rubbish. Separately it’s quite good, the half that Guisman steals allows him to turn into a shadow and take over people’s bodies. Not bad, and he also can’t be hurt in this form, which comes in handy a few times. In fact I’d go as far as to say that this half of the pendent alone is enough to take over L.A.. The other half, which ends up in the possession of the brothers, makes the wearer invulnerable, again pretty handy. If you put both parts together though, you turn into a ninja with a sword, who seemingly isn’t invulnerable, and could certainly be stopped from taking over the city by the police.
So it’s ludicrous and stupid, but then it’s a kid film from the 90’s so it was never going to be anything else. There are a few positives to take from the film though. As easy as it is to hate Billy Lee (the main Lee, and the whitest Lee, which I’m sure was purely incidental) generally the actors play their characters perfectly, with Jimmy and Marian (the police chiefs daughter) are both likable, where as Patrick’s Guisman is comic book evil.
There’s lots going on, with speed boat chases, burning warehouses, genetic experimentation, and lot’s of fighting. I don’t know Mark Damascus’ (who play’s Jimmy) martial arts heritage, but he seems convincing here, not that the others really embarrass themselves. Not that it’s high quality stuff, but considering some of the films it’s up against, it’s not too bad.
The only other positive comments I’ve got are that Alyssa Milano (Marian) is stunning in this, and that Billy and Guisman share one of the best lines in cinema history. “You’re weak like your father!” “You’re ugly like your mother!”
Elsewhere there’s some horrendous special effects, including, but not limited to some of the worst 3D graphics I’ve ever seen. The Lee’s and Guisman come into contact far too many times, in fact he track them down within about 10 minutes of the films starting. And one other thing, the ‘unique’ way the Lee’s give each other a high 5 is cringe worthy.
Double Dragon is a terrible film by just about any measure, but it’s an easier and less painful watch than the likes of Mario, Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne. Remember it’s a kids film and I dare say there’s even a chance you’ll get some enjoyment out of it. Not that that’s a recommendation, just to be clear.
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